Dudes on vacation

When we realized in January that I would get a few days off from teaching this week and that since I would be finishing up experiments and wouldn't be chained to the mouse colony, we decided to go on an actual spring vacation. (Note: neither of those discoveries turned out to be true. Oh well, maybe next year). We thought about a cruise, but didn't want the hassle. And we're already planning to see family in August. So I began scouring the web for fun family things within driving distance that we hadn't already done, and found Rocking Horse Ranch in upstate NY. It's a dude ranch, with over 100 horses that you can ride without having to shovel up after. But the horses are only the start, with lots of kids sports activities. And it has great reviews on Tripadvisor, so we gave it a shot. First afternoon there and we went straight to the pool. There's a waterslide that you only need to be 36" tall to ride--it's the first long/enclosed waterslide the kids have been able to ride, and they loved it. Jed slides down sitting up, and you can hear his Tarzan howl long before you see him shoot out the bottom. Gus loves still water better, so the pool that never gets more then 4' deep is perfect for him, with lots of room to splash and swim without worrying about getting out too deep. The next day we spent exploring. They give "pony rides" on their super-gentle horses with a pony saddle. Gus thought it was sorta cool, but Jed was transfixed. He rides around in a circle, patting the horse. Gus thought watching his brother ride was not very exciting, so when Jed came around he hollered that we were going to the bounce house. "You go ahead," answered his brother, "*I'm* on a horse." Meeting the barn cats. Bounce house, foam cannons, ping pong. Paddleboats, bungee bounce trampoline, miniature golf. Playground, shooting/archery range, arcade, panning for arrowheads. Pool again. Oh, and cups of popcorn pretty much whenever you want it. Soft serve ice cream that is surprisingly good. Marshmallow roast and guitar singalong. The Gambler and Sweet Caroline. Kids and parents wiped out at the end of the day. Day 3: The kids spend the morning in day camp where they do lots of the above again and have a great time. Jim and I go for a trail ride, which is learning how to keep your horse from biting the bum of the horse ahead of him on the most well-fertilized trail in the country. More pool and pony rides. Beach kayaks. Arcade games. Gus declares that he would like to be a girl. When asked why, he says that girls wear more fun swimsuits. True that. Tour of the stables, where Jed meets a big white horse he would like to ride, and Reb learns that buying a well trained horse is only $1500. I know that's not pocket change and it doesn't include the care, feeding, and shoveling, but for a horse! No, I'm not saving my salary for one, just surprised. Kids show with gentleman whose hobby is reptiles, and he brings out an alligator and a rattlesnake. All impressed but too worn out to see the end. Day 4: More day camp (hike and bounce house today) and trail rides. Jim notes that walking your horse in a line is not very interesting. I tell him that if he doesn't want to be treated like a dude, he needs to put more effort into not being one. And wasn't the bit of dancing his horse did when the horse behind him got too close and nipped his on the bum interesting? Meeting the "character" horse at lunchtime trolling for fist bumps. Jed realizes that the hoof is the size of his head and gives him a head bump instead, getting a genuine laugh from the emcee who must not see new things that often. Packing up and more pool. I introduce Gus to the sauna, which is the first place that has ever been too warm for him. We dry off after pool by standing in the doorway. Wagon ride behind some BIG horses; talk with Gus about Little House in the Big Woods that we've been reading. Wait for the horses to cross the street to their pasture after work (once the horses finally come out the kids are transfixed--which one did you ride, Mommy? That one; his name is Elvis and his best friend is Memphis. No joke.) and then head home ourselves. Overall review: a good time was had by all. Jim wishes there was more grown-up stuff to do. No one goes hungry and everyone is asleep within seconds. About the right length of stay for us. Dudette sore after 2 days on horse, still can't believe one of the young ladies wore flipflops on the stable tour. Bedtime and recovery prescribed for all.